Been reading the book Becoming a True Spiritual Community by Larry Crabb. At one point in the book he says that there is an wickedness that dwells in each one of us. In one of the stories he shares about himself he highlights the issue of pride. And I realized that his story was mine.
Pride infects everything that I do. I wanted to write almost everything, but wasn't convinced that would be true.
When I preach pride lurks right there. I desire for people to think that I am smart and a good preacher.
It is there when I lead bible studies. I want people see me as wise and deeply connected to God.
It is there when I resist temptation. "Aren't I so good or holy!"
It is here as I write this post. I want people to see that I am humble and growing closer to God.
Pride infects everything that I do.
Now pride isn't the only thing I feel. I do truly want to give God glory in what I do. I really want to help people because I love them and God.
But pride hovers there in every good (and bad) thing that I do.
Crabb points out that I need to realize that this is evil. Too often I have been content with my pride. Actually many times I have seen no problem at all with my pride. I need the Holy Spirit to show me how wickedly rebellious my pride is.
2 comments:
Ouch, stop posting this stuff. Too close to home.
One thing that I have been learning thru reading Tim Keller's books The Prodigal God and Counterfeit Gods is the deep seated evil nature inside of me that wants what I want and not what God desires me to have.
I just need to throw myself into God's presence and plead with him to change me on the inside. You know what ... sometimes I actually do just that and the God whom I love actually is (slowly).
Peter, Amen! We need to be converted - to die and be raised to a new life. As you say we need to throw ourselves into God's presence and ask him to change us. There is no other hope.
Those books by Tim Keller sound really challenging.
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